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2003-09-14 @ One AM : >>
Closed Mind
I happened to mention penny-falls to someone.
Heaven knows why. I mean, I only played them maybe five times the entire two years I lived in Brighton. That's not exactly very much. But for some reason penny-falls seem to have become very salient in my mind and highly associated with home and good times.
Anyway, the person said, "We have penny falls here too, y'know. And we have nightclubs and all the other things you keep saying you miss."
The problem: Yes, they do. I know they do. But I'm not interested in discovering new nightclubs and new penny-falls. I want the ones I miss. I want the ones I know. It is familiarity that I am yearning for right now.
If only I could open my mind a little more to the possibility that new and unfamiliar things could, in time, become just as fun too. Rationally, I know this is true. However, my mind seems stubbornly closed right now.
I know that one day Portland will probably come to feel like home. Or, at least, one of my many homes. Every place I have ever lived up until now has eventually developed feelings of being "home."
However, to say that that day has arrived, or even that I see it on the horizon, would be a lie.
Closed Mind
I happened to mention penny-falls to someone.
Heaven knows why. I mean, I only played them maybe five times the entire two years I lived in Brighton. That's not exactly very much. But for some reason penny-falls seem to have become very salient in my mind and highly associated with home and good times.
Anyway, the person said, "We have penny falls here too, y'know. And we have nightclubs and all the other things you keep saying you miss."
The problem: Yes, they do. I know they do. But I'm not interested in discovering new nightclubs and new penny-falls. I want the ones I miss. I want the ones I know. It is familiarity that I am yearning for right now.
If only I could open my mind a little more to the possibility that new and unfamiliar things could, in time, become just as fun too. Rationally, I know this is true. However, my mind seems stubbornly closed right now.
I know that one day Portland will probably come to feel like home. Or, at least, one of my many homes. Every place I have ever lived up until now has eventually developed feelings of being "home."
However, to say that that day has arrived, or even that I see it on the horizon, would be a lie.